Experience, Strength, and Hope #6

This is a part of our Experience, Strength, and Hope series. Read more D.A. experiences. The shares below are those of the fellows that submitted them and don’t necessarily represent the 12 steps or Debtors Anonymous.
Would you like to share your D.A. story? If so, please fill out the ODAI sharing form or the ODAI Step sharing form.

How did you know you had a problem?

It was pretty obvious to me. I’d incurred about $20k in unsecured debt in a couple of years. I was binge- buying items online as an attempt to overcome my utter demoralization, sense of failure, and despair at being unable to maintain employment despite repeated attempts. My health declined each time I did, and the intervals got shorter and shorter. I couldn’t accept the reality of living on a poverty income after having been a professional.

How did you find D.A.?

I was complaining about how I was just living from month to month to a friend who was in D.A. She told me that even if I had no debt, if I wasn’t earning enough that I would be welcome to D.A. as an underearner. Several years after I joined my health declined, and I became unable to work. Years later, I returned to D.A., now from a place of utter despair and in debt.

What have you learned in D.A.?

By working the steps of this program with a sponsor, I have moved from an unmanageable, miserable, and hopeless state of mind and physical sense of despair to a place of emotional sobriety, peace, happiness, and contentment, in spite of my financial circumstances remaining at 300% below poverty due to health issues.

What suggestions do you have for newcomers in their first 90 days?

Go to the debtorsanonyomous.org website. Click on GETTING STARTED. Check out the resources there. Review the “15 Questions” and “12 Signs of Compulsive Debting.” Read about the “12 Tools” of the program. Check out “Frequently Asked Questions.”

Attend at least a meeting a day, two or three a day if possible. There are both phone, in-person, and Internet meeting options. Listen, keep an open mind. Take phone numbers of people that you resonate with. Give out your contact information (phone number or email) and ask people who have experience, strength, and hope of recovery to please contact you.

Try all different types of meetings. Check out the Saturday group RECORD KEEPING and NUMBERS to learn more about how to track your spending.

There are meetings for self-employed persons, for persons with health issues, persons who are compulsive spenders, persons who are debtors/underearners with clutter problems. See what meetings fit best for you and seem most helpful.

Under FELLOWSHIP [on the D.A. website] check out the DA newsletters, the DA Focus and Ways and Means. Under ABOUT D.A., check out RECOVERY STORIES and HISTORY.

Begin one day at a time to stop incurring new unsecured debt. Start simple: Put three columns on lined paper. First column, write the date. Second line, Category. Under the title “Category,” write down everything you spend each day, one day at a time. Examples are Groceries, Rent, Gas, Car Insurance, etc. Put the amount you spend. Keep this simple! Call and report this to someone in recovery in the D.A. program. Check out the D.A. HOW FORMAT meeting, which is a more structured form of sponsorship in the D.A. program to learn more about the tools and how people are using these in recovery. Most of all, Keep coming back! It works IF you work it AND you are WORTH it!

—Melissa D.

All are welcome to join in recovery. Find a meeting.